Fear his wrath

You are seeing clearly, that's 2 medals (one gold, one bronze) around his neck and a trophy in his hand...he proves his dominance and strikes fear in all who see him. This weekend was Adam's first TaeKwonDo tournament and, as you can see, I think this is the beginning of a long and fruitful career. He got the trophy for his form, the bronze for board breaking and the gold for 1-step sparring...where he beat his opponent 4-1. That's my boy! I'm not sure what's next for him, beyond testing for his orange belt in two weeks, but all last night in his sleep he kept murmuring something like "must kill Chuck Norris". Or something. I couldn't quite make it out.

Pat-land

As I'm sure many of you have already heard. Pat Robertson, spear-heading a group of evangelical Christians, is planning on opening up a theme-park of sorts on the shores of galilee. (if he can make ammends for his previous Sharon comment, that is, as the nation is now pretty pissed and has said they'll pull out of the arrangement)

Anyway, we've had quite a good time thinking of what rides/attractions could be part of a Christian theme park. Also, what would the park itself be called? It seems obvious that the biggest, most intense roller coaster will be called 'the Crucifixion". But what else? Maybe a target range where you try to shoot nails into cutouts of Jesus' hands with holes in them??? Suggestions, please.

I've seen the light...

...and Pat Robertson is holding the flashlight.

That's right, once again, one of our great Christian leaders has set the world straight. He turned what could have been seen as a tragedy into something with a reasonable explaination, thus making it less fearsome and even good.

In case you missed it, Pat has explained that Israelian Prime Minister Arial Sharon's most recent massive stroke is, in fact, a hard, stinging spank from God for being bad. Sharon had the audacity to to offer up part of Isralian occupied Gaza to the Palestinians in hopes that it would be a step towards peace. He was even quoted as saying that although he does beleive the land was given to his people by God, they are willing to sacrifice this gift in the name of peace. What an ass! As Pat explains, God says "Hey, that's my land! You better not go messing with it!" The sad part, I didn't even make up that last quote...that's what he said.

Now, I had always been under the crazy assumption that God would smile upon such an action. He's usually pretty big on personal sacrifice for the greater good and all that...or so I thought! No, no, no! God likes His stuff - and He hates re-gifters! Shame on you, Sharon!

Pat's had a busy year bringing those of us in the dark to his light. Through him, I learned that hurricanes and tsunami's are only God killing bad people, so they're okay. And to think, I had wasted precious time actually feeling bad about all the suffering of these people! Glad that's over! Pat also showed me that if you live in PA and you vote to not exclusively teach ID theory in your classrooms then, you might not have a hurricane yet...but just you wait...it's comin'!! Pat has made my faith journey so much easier by boiling everything down to one simple point...if you screw up (defined as anything Pat disagrees with) God's gonna get ya! He hates screw ups! He wants - and frankly expects - you, and everyone around you to be perfect (defined as pleasing to Pat Robertson)

Yes, now I see the glimmering light of truth...thanks Pat. Oh wait, that's not truth....turns out it's my white hot fiery rage!!

Timing is everything

It's undeniable that certain things are best at certain times...
The best time to enjoy a cup of hot chocolate is after sledding
The best time to go running is when someone is chasing you
The best time to go jogging is when someone on crutches is chasing you
And the best time for procreating is late spring. Seriously.

You see, I know there are those of you out there who've been married for a little while, and are thinking of maybe adding a little one to your tribe. Now, I won't get into the fact that some of you should NOT put your genes into the collective pool of humankind - but that aside, let me offer you some advice. Go for spring! God had it right when He made all the animals 'frisky' in the springtime. Why?? Two-words: After Christmas Mega Sales!!

By, how shall I say....sowing your seed, in late spring you can expect the fruit of your loins to join you towards the end of January. This is the IDEAL time for a birthday for so, so, so many reasons. A few:

You can "bat clean-up" with gifts - didn't get it for Christmas? Birthday is just around the corner!

For us, falls in a not-too-busy time of year so you have time for crazy/extravaganza/blow-out parties

Still far enough away from Christmas that you're not stuck getting lame Christmas/Birthday gifts

Also far enough away from any holiday like Valentines or Easter to get stuck with a dual gift on that end

And...your friends and family can shop at the huge sales!! We're not talking the lame 26th of Dec. sales either. Oh no, we're talking the "holy crap! it's January 15th and we've still got 5 asiles of toys we've got to move to make way for our garden section!" kind of sales.

Because of above reason, you make out like a bandit!

Yes, having a birthday late in January is, for all practical purposes, perfect. It is for this reason above all others that Abbie is, by far, my favorite daughter.